Why would you want a used calendar? I was walking down the street one day and a bus continuously ran me over until I sneezed. I spent several seconds in Aruba after this accident before I realized I was actually a carpenter at the time. This of course would explain my immense fondness of anything with wood like qualities. While I was recovering from my terrible allergic reaction to being run over by the bus, I dreamed many opossums. Several were larger than a spruce, however, there were the select few that were microscopic just like the horizontal view of a lamppost. After I had my beef stick returned I decided to take up the adventurous sport of hot water heating. During this hospitable time, my legs became quite collapsible. I had to make sure that my liver was updated every other month or so just in case my eyebrows needed surgery. After several months and a couple more days of participating in this event I realized it would take me nowhere in life so I gave up and started on my life long goal of becoming a paper licker. I thoroughly wanted my pineapple to be classified as above top secret, but my upper palate was too sticky to bother with so I gave up and remained with the octahedral paper clip. After 68.8%6 years of this profession my tongue was worn out and scarred with paper cuts. I decided to retire to the year 1392 where all the grandpas were not their own sons' sons. And that is why everyone should want a used calendar.

Thank you and goodnight.

mood: mischievous